Stories of courage at annual Cyarah Vince Foundation domestic violence awareness event

CARLISLE TWP. — April 7 would have been Cyarah "CeCe" Vince's 30th birthday. A childhood cancer survivor who worked with the elderly, mentored youth and wanted to become a nurse, the Elyria native never lived to see it: She was shot and killed by her boyfriend in 2020 in their Lorain apartment. Cyarah Vince is now remembered with a foundation in her name that raises awareness of domestic violence and the issues around it, while also raising money to support victims and survivors. The foundation's fifth-annual fundraiser, on Saturday at AMVETS Post 32 hall on Middle Avenue, saw dozens of gift baskets and big ticket items raffled off in support of the foundation, which also provides a scholarship to a graduating Midview High School senior. A flatscreen TV, Cleveland Guardians tickets, a football signed by Cleveland Browns players, a selection from Vandemark Jewelers, car care baskets, snacks and more were on display. The proceeds of a 50/50 were to be split between a lucky winner and Lorain County Safe Harbor. Volunteers wore shirts with "She's our sunshine and our angel" and sunflowers on them. "Ask me about CeCe" they read on the back, with the Cyarah Vince Foundation web address below, CyarahVinceFoundation.org. Austin Altomare was convicted of Cyarah Vince's murder in 2021 sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole after 20 1/2 years. He wasn't charged with domestic violence over her death, but he did have a prior arrest for it with that charge dismissed in 2017. Tamara Vince, president of her daughter's namesake foundation, talked Saturday about courage. She said she wondered if her daughter knew there were resources available if she felt unsafe or scared in her relationship. The most-dangerous time in a relationship is when a victim is trying to leave it. Tamara Vince said she wondered if her daughter had an "exit plan." "Have the courage to leave because it might save your life," she said. "Have the courage to speak up because it might save your life." Elyria Mayor Kevin Brubaker surprised Tamara Vince with a mayoral proclamation "in honor and remembrance of Cyarah Vince, celebrating her life, her strength, her compassion, and the enduring impact she left on the City of Elyria and beyond." "May her legacy continue to inspire kindness, awareness, and hope in our community," the proclamation read. Tamara Vince said she was surprised by the presentation. "I was honored," she said. A survivor of domestic violence said her abuse took many forms, including physical, psychological, emotional, financial and sexual, until she was able to escape and press charges. The Chronicle-Telegram does not typically name such survivors "People need to know how serious domestic violence is," the survivor told the crowd, comparing it to "slowly being dismantled ... from the inside out." Raped, assaulted, manipulated and threatened by her former partner who had a nearly 20-year history of domestic violence incidents, she would leave him, then be drawn back when he threatened her or when his behavior temporarily improved. It's important to talk about it now "so no one else has to go through it," the woman said. The annual benefit also supports Lorain County Safe Harbor and its Genesis House shelter. Cara Staresinic, prevention coordinator at Lorain County Safe Harbor, said her agency supports domestic violence victims and survivors with housing, household and hygiene items. It also educates the community about domestic abuse. That includes teaching middle school and high school students "what you do and do not deserve in a healthy relationship" and teaching them and parents about online "digital abuse," she said. "We want to stop that cycle of violence," Staresinic said. The message is starting even earlier, now, with The Cyarah Vince Foundation sponsoring an Elyria Little League baseball team under coach Michael Oates. Fittingly, the team's uniforms are purple — the color of domestic violence awareness, Tamara Vince said. For more about Cyarah Vince, to find resources and raise awareness for issues surrounding domestic violence or to donate to the cause, visit CyarahVinceFoundation.org or visit the foundation's Facebook page. More than six years after she was murdered, Cyarah Vince is saving lives, her mother said. One woman told Tamara that after she shared Cyarah's story with her niece, the niece got up the courage to leave and divorce her abusive husband. "Every year we hear stories of this," Tamara Vince said. "I wish my daughter was here to hear that." Contact Dave O'Brien at (440) 329-7129 or dobrien@chroniclet.com