Commentary: Putting the mock in NFL mock drafts

Call me crazy, but I think everyone in America should have their own NFL mock draft every year, no matter what, just because. So are you in or out? I really feel the time is right, if for no other reason than "just because." Furthermore, it gives Mel Kiper another year to prepare his mock draft for next year, even though this year's mock draft hasn't taken place yet. Nevertheless, the time has come for every football-fanatic mock drafter to be given his own corner of the mock draft universe so he (or she) can give America his or her's mock draft info, on which to let all other mock drafters ply their trade. Because, I don't know about you, but if, in America today, Kiper, and anyone else out there in the mock draft world, is not permitted to participate in a mock draft, where are we as a people? Giving every American their own mock draft, on which to conduct their own mock draft business is the only right thing to do for football fans who have no life, and I mean that in a nice way. Just to let you know that I am serious about this new venture, I am presenting here, for the first time anywhere, my own mock draft. I am not up on all the names of all the NFL players, so you will have to excuse me, or pardon me (Your choice!), whenever my first mock draft pick comes around, and the only sound you hear from me is heavy breathing. So until I get a better feel for the nuances of my new mock draft, I am going to have to, rather than name the players I pick, I will describe them. For example, If I get the first pick in the draft (fingers crossed!), I am going to select an offensive guard from Offensive Guard Tech. I am not sure what his name is, but neither is he, so we are in good shape there. With the second pick in my new mock draft, I am going to select one of those guys who holds the football on the ground so the field goal kicker can kick it. My new holder — assuming he is still on the board when it is my pick — isn't that well-known, but he is also not much of a holder. Call me crazy, but I've just got a hunch on this one. Moving right along to my next pick, some of my relatives have suggested that I might want to draft a quarterback pretty soon, because they are apparently considered "pretty important." My response to that was a definitive, "Time will tell." I didn't spend much time investigating my next pick because I forgot which pick that is. Hopefully, somebody will help me out here. If not, my fallback position will be "the biggest player on the board." Once again: "Here's hoping!" I admit I kind of rushed that pick because I was anxious to get to my next one, who, it was explained to me, was "part cornerback, part crossing guard." I don't remember his name, but neither does he, so I think we should be good to go on that selection. Moving right along, you are not going to believe this, but oddly enough, at this point in my mock draft 1.0, I realized I hadn't yet drafted a middle linebacker from Lehigh. For that, I have nobody to blame but myself, and a friend of the family who enrolled at Lehigh but then drew a complete blank when I asked him where it was. It was just about this time when I realized that I was moving towards the end of my mock draft and I had not yet drafted, or even considered drafting, a quarterback. After congratulating myself, I wondered how this could have happened. To this day I don't know, which is odd, because it only happened yesterday. But then I looked at the other quarterbacks who were selected earlier in the draft, and it all came back to me. Unfortunately. I'll be honest with you: I had no idea how confounding mock drafts can be. There is a lot more there that doesn't meet the eye, and I have no idea what that means. Neither, I have to believe, do most of my mock draft participants. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if none of them even knew why they were there in the first place, and what they were supposed to be doing. But don't get discouraged. Mock draft 2.0 is just around the corner. Woe is us. Contact Jim Ingraham at (440) 329-7135 or jingraham4@gmail.com.