Welcome to Cleveland, where championships are hard to find

Not to be picky or anything, but do you realize that it has been a combined 145 years since a Cleveland team won a championship? Not that anyone is counting, or anything, but: The Cavs haven't won a championship in the last 10 years. The Browns haven't won a championship in the last 58 years. And the Guardians/Indians haven't won a championship in the last 77 years. That is a combined total of 145 non-championship seasons! I would have to do the math on this, but, at first blush, I would say that is a lot of non-championship Cleveland years. Granted, my math is a little wobbly on this, because the Cavs were NBA champions a mere nine years ago. No, really. I looked it up. Time flies when you're not winning championships. I mean, come on! It's not like we live in Boston, where one of their professional sports teams wins a championship every half-hour or so. Nope, we live in Cleveland, where one of our professional sports teams wins a championship roughly once every total eclipse of the sun. You may or may not know this, but believe it or not, the Browns right now don't even have a head coach! No, really! They had one earlier this week, but they had to let him go because other teams wanted him. Isn't that wild? In fact, if I were owners Jimmy and Dee Haslam — some people don't know who they are because they don't talk much — when they start interviewing potential head coach candidates, my opener would be: "Nice to meet you. Did you know that we don't even have a coach right now?" (Candidate says nothing). "No, really, we had a coach but, well, long story short, we don't have one now. Do you know any good ones? (Candidate says nothing, shifts uneasily in his chair). So for those scoring at home, the Browns fired two-time NFL Coach of the Year Kevin Stefanski earlier this week. It's now late this week. The Browns still don't have a coach, but most of the other teams do. Fortunately, the next NFL season doesn't start for another eight months or so. That gives the Browns plenty of time to not have a coach, whether they want one or not. However, and also fortunately, the Cavaliers are right in the middle of their season. Unfortunately, they are not doing too well. But at least they aren't the Browns. Isn't it great being a Cleveland sports fan? What is interesting is that the one Cleveland sports team that is having the best season so far is the team that isn't playing yet, because its season hasn't started yet. That would be the non-free-spending Guardians, who, somehow, are one of the least-wealthiest, but one of the most successful teams in Major League Baseball, despite not spending a lot of money, and despite not having won the World Series in 77 years (not that anyone is counting). That is not a typo. But it is a dichotomy. The Guardians lead the league in dichotomies, and are last in the league in sluggers. Somehow, they make it work. In the meantime, the Browns are trying to figure out why their team isn't very good, almost every year. That's not the way it is supposed to work in the NFL, but that's the way it works — and by "works" we mean how it doesn't work — for the Browns, who will soon have a brand new stadium, and a roster filled with nothing but quarterbacks. You can't make this stuff up, but for those scoring at home, the Browns have now gone 58 years without winning the Super Bowl, and 58 years without playing in the Super Bowl. I believe that is an NFL record, and if it's not, it should be. Enjoy! But don't forget that the Browns' next head coach is just around the corner, and the coach after that is not far behind. But at least the Guardians and the Cavs aren't the Browns. Or maybe they are. Maybe this whole thing is a Cleveland thing, and nothing more. Don't forget, in the first 17 years of the Browns' existence, they had one coach. One: Paul Brown. Perhaps you have heard of him. Then Art Modell fired Brown and hired Blanton Collier for the next eight years. Then the merry-go-round started, and it hasn't stopped since: 16 coaches in 53 years. How many interviews does it take to win a Super Bowl? Surely, no NFL franchise has been broken, or on it's way to being broken more than the flotsam and jetsam generated by the backwaters of the Cleveland Browns, and all that entails. No NFL franchise spends more time hiring, firing or fixing what's broken than the franchise in Cleveland, where the only thing that is worrisome is everything. Contact Jim Ingraham at jingraham4@gmail.com.