Jim Ingraham: Guardians' obsession with light-hitting middle infielders destroying them at plate and in standings

Fear not, Guardians fans. Believe it or not, there could be a redeeming light at the end of this gruesome, unwatchable, hideous season that continues to haunt yet another sector of Cleveland's loyal-beyond-belief fanbase. But only if the landlords will play ball. Because they are almost certainly on the clock, and the ticking is getting louder with each loss. Because what we are seeing in this half-over (thankfully), decidedly unprofessional baseball season is this: a cry for help. I will let you be the judge. What follows is where the Guardians rank in the American League in all the pertinent offensive categories. Before we begin, however, please usher the children out of the room. They should not have to sit through this. OK, so in Major League Baseball there are 11 offensive categories worth categorizing: runs, hits, doubles, triples, home runs, RBIs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, OPS (on-base plus slugging percentage) and total bases. Are the kids out of the room? Good. Here we go. At the start of play Wednesday, in the 15-team American League, here is where Cleveland ranked in all the offensive categories. Please hold your gasps until all the gruesomeness has been introduced: Runs: 13th. Hits: last. Doubles: last. Triples: 12th. Home runs: 13th. RBIs: 13th. Batting average: 14th. On-base percentage: 13th. Slugging percentage: 14th. OPS: 14th. Total bases: 14th. OK, you can exhale now. I don't know about you, but I think these numbers don't necessarily speak for themselves as much as they wreak for themselves. If you didn't know better, you would think the Guardians' entire roster is filled with light-hitting middle infielders ... and you would be right! Almost, anyway. The Guards' continuing bizarre infatuation with light-hitting middle infielders is one of baseball's oldest, most enduring and inexplicable phenomena. No other teams operate like this. How come? Because all the other teams are trying to score runs. Why is that? Because that is how you win games. You win games by scoring runs, and light-hitting middle infielders almost never hit home runs. Altogether now: DUH! The Guardians, however, are historically loyal, upstream-swimming aficionados of middle infielders who struggle to get the ball out of the infield but refuse to change their approach because when they make the third out, it's just a short jog back to the dugout, as opposed to hitting a home run, in which, get this, you have to touch ALL FOUR BASES! That's right. There is a lot more nuance here than you might think, and the biggest nuance of all is one the Guardians studiously adhere to each and every season. Maybe you have already noticed. The Guardians don't score a lot of runs because they don't hit a lot of home runs, because they don't draft a lot of home run hitters because home run hitters cost more money than light-hitting middle infielders. This isn't rocket science. Cleveland has adhered to it for years, which is good news for light-hitting middle infielders, but bad news for those hulking, big-contract-seeking sluggers, who don't care if they strike out a lot as long as they hit a lot of home runs. This has been the Guardians' roster creation philosophy for years. Not surprisingly, money has a lot to do with it. When it comes to trying to negotiate with a big, hulking, home run-hitting free agent that they desperately need, the Guards have never seen a light-hitting middle infielder that they didn't like. This season's version of trying to win with less is a lot like the failed experiments from the past, which looked a lot like the failed experiments last year and this year. The emphasis seems to still be the same: Don't spend big because ownership apparently isn't prepared to write any big checks, even if it meant getting a boost in the standings because of it. Instead, the Guardians, and Guardians fans, have no choice but to enjoy the numerous groundouts the light-hitting middle infielders continue to produce, at the expense of being able to compete with the better teams in the American League. This season's stubborn insistence to not add a quality bat to a lineup that desperately needs one (or two, or three, but let's not get carried away) is, in all likelihood, going to keep the Guardians out of the playoffs. The "we'll go as far as our light-hitting middle infielders will take us" approach isn't working. Spectacularly so. Ownership is apparently OK with that, even though the addition of just one big bat would be a great boost to a lineup desperate for one. Silly us. There will be no trip to the playoffs this year, but the ballpark looks swell. Contact Jim Ingraham at jingraham4@gmail.com. Follow him @Jim_Ingraham on X.