'I Am Ace' author visits Lorain County Community College

ELYRIA — A Columbus-based author and content creator visited Lorain County Community College on Thursday. Cody Daigle-Orians, author of "I Am Ace," made a stop at the Bass Library Bridge on International Asexuality Day to talk about their new book and discuss their experiences as a content creator running the "Ace Dad Advice" Youtube and TikTok accounts. Daigle-Orians, 46, of Columbus, who uses they/them pronouns, came out as asexual, or "ace," about four years ago and began their online project about two years ago. For Daigle-Orians, that pride began decades ago when they came out as gay while in high school. In 1994, there wasn't language for what they were feeling, Daigle-Orians said. Without an online community or greater understanding of gender and sexuality, they adopted a label that didn't totally fit, and kept it for years. "Although we are over 20-odd years later from that 18-year-old me and we're in the middle of this rise of asexual visibility. … There are more ace people like me who have communities online and can do things like this. It still remains very challenging for ace folks to find the language to describe who they are," they said. When Daigle-Orians came out as gay at 18 years old, there was a set of expectations that came with that label, they said. But when they didn't meet those expectations within their relationships, they felt broken. Their new book, "I Am Ace," is a gift to their younger self, Daigle-Orians said, answering questions and providing words of encouragement they needed to hear all those years ago. "It exists to help other ace folks not feel broken," they said. "And if I can do that, hopefully, that repairs a little bit of the brokenness that I have felt and hopefully it repairs a little of the brokenness that others have felt. I can't tell you in the two years I've been doing this work how often that word (broken) comes up." When Daigle-Orians first came out as asexual, they found a queer-friendly therapist to help work through their experiences, they said. That work also translated to the "Ace Dad Advice" accounts as a way to support young people exploring their own asexuality. The TikTok account started after their barber encouraged them to get on the burgeoning social media app. And despite Daigle-Orians' protests based on their age, they made a post identifying themself as asexual and came back to new followers and comments about not knowing asexual adults existed. "It was a moment that I really connected to something deeply from my young queer beginnings. I remembered when I came out as gay how important mentors were to me and the elders in the community were to being able to see that there were gay adults who were OK," they said. "There were gay adults who had 'made it' — because it was 1994 making it was still a very, very big deal and not necessarily a given." Bringing a background as an educator, Daigle-Orians decided to become in part the mentor they had as a teen and fill a need in a mostly internet-based community. Since then, they've seen that online following grow. And through going on tours for their book, they've met some of those longtime online followers in person. Organizers Zarai Aquino and Lia Douglas were some of those online followers. Aquino, president of LCCC's Asexual and Aromantic Community and Education Club, contacted Daigle-Orians and asked them about coming to the college. Aquino partnered with the library to bring Daigle-Orians there Thursday, and partnered with the library last October to create a book display highlighting works on asexuality, transgender and nonbinary identities, they said. For Daigle-Orians, their book and the stop at LCCC and beyond are investments in the future while still connecting to the past, they said. "In forging that connection with the past as we live out our present, we're ultimately investing in our future. All that we do today for ourselves … is carving out a space for whoever comes next. For whatever ace person in the days, months, years ahead of us who has questions, who is unsure, who is broken, who feels like they'll never fit anywhere … we are making space today for that person." Contact Carissa Woytach at (440) 329-7245 or cwoytach@chroniclet.com.