Nursing facilities uplift residents spending the holidays alone in Lorain County

Thanksgiving across the country looked different this year, but particularly in nursing facilities, where much of the holiday was spent in isolation. Most nursing homes and assisted-living facilities had to make do with what little they were able to do. Residents still can't dine together, so they are eating in their rooms and apartments alone. Staff members worked to provide extra touches on Thanksgiving to make the holiday a little special for residents. Kendal at Oberlin CEO Barbara Thomas said her residents understand what's at stake this holiday season and are resilient. "It may be their last holiday," Thomas said. "Honestly, we don't know where we will be a year from now and we recognize our families are very important to us. And we want to be with our families next year. So this is the chance we have to do the things this year to open up that possibility. And they know that. they're the first ones to realize the risk is likely to come from outside." Kendal's dining department prepared goodie baskets for the residents, which included little pumpkin pies and candies. The baskets were a surprise that were given out in addition to the Thanksgiving meal. Thomas said Kendal and every other home and nursing facility has to adopt alternate ways to celebrate holidays. At Kendal, that may be sharing special holiday recipes or getting on Zoom. "We're trying to make it special," Thomas said. It's important that we find substitute ways. … When you don't expect something, it's that touch on a holiday where you really need something to pick you up." Thomas credited the residents for keeping spirits high throughout Kendal. They've adapted to virtual programming and taught each other things like Zoom and technology. Although residents are COVID-weary, Thomas said that with a vaccine coming soon, there's hope on the other side. Even independent-living residents are choosing to be extra careful during the holidays. Wesleyan Village director of sales and marketing Anne Murphy said its independent living residents are free to come and go, but are choosing to stay in given the uptick in cases. "We're trying to bring the holidays to them," Murphy said. Wesleyan village delivered a Thanksgiving meal to its residents in both independent and assisted living. Residents got a happy-hour-themed cart and staff dressed up. Goody bags were delivered to apartments. Spending all this time isolated, particularly around the holidays, can depress residents and decline their health, Murphy said. Wesleyan is a faith-based community, so it does Zoom with pastors, as well as families. If a resident doesn't have the right technology, Wesleyan will lend him or her an iPad. "We're a sense of security for them," Murphy said. "They watch the news; they are glued to that. To constantly worry and to hear that we're in this pandemic and the numbers are going up, they look at us. We become their family because their family can't come in right now. It's very important to keep up these traditions for them even though they're different." Families have also been able to drop off items, and Murphy said they constantly have families dropping things off for their loved ones. But Murphy said Wesleyan's residents have also been more content to be safe and indoors. Oftentimes, she said it's the adult children that can struggle from being away from their parents on a holiday. And residents do have the choice to leave and go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but they would have to quarantine in their room for two weeks afterward. "They are preferring to get through this surge," Murphy said. "They've been through worse things. That's the perspective they have." At Abbewood, executive director Sharon Watson said staff hand-decorated places and dietary staff signed feathers on a picture of a turkey. And this year residents got a full traditional Thanksgiving meal, from stuffing to mash potatoes to gravy to corn to pumpkin pie. "So, they'll be stuffed when they're finished," Watson laughed. Group activities also aren't able to happen, but Watson said Abbewood has focused on one-on-one activities, including virtual calls with family members. And for residents who have loved ones living in independent living or assisted living, Abbewood created a "cuddle curtain." A resident can meet with their spouse and be able to safely give each other hugs. As much as is possible, Watson said Abbewood staff is trying to make the holidays lively. Staff are putting on smiles and giving encouragement to residents. She said it becomes more incumbent on staff to make sure residents don't become depressed. Abbewood employees have begun taking more one-on-one time with residents. "They have been isolated from their family and friends," Watson said. "It changes their day-to-day. That may include going shopping or going to a relative's home. They are more on their own. They're in a more isolated situation. That's where my staff and I really have to take over as their family and friends." Watson herself spent Thanksgiving with her husband and dogs, but no one else. She said she wants to keep her residents safe, and that means making sacrifices on her end, too. Christmas is the next holiday coming, and although nursing facilities are holding out hope things might be different, they are preparing for another holiday shut in. Watson said if things don't change, they'll have the same guidelines. But if at all possible, they'll relax some guidelines. "They are understanding of the situation," Watson said. "They are saddened by the situation, but yet hopeful that things will change. And their attitude has been quite positive." To bring a little extra excitement to independent-living residents, Wesleyan is hosting a winter wonderland for Christmas. Patio homes are being decorated by residents for Christmas, and people can drive through for a festival of lights. Murphy said the event has already raised residents' spirits, and they're already planning the decorations. Most residents will start decorating on Sunday, and Murphy said she will also be out there with a hot dog stand for the residents. "It's brought a little bit of joy," Murphy said. "… We're trying to do these little things for them." As residents are making the hard choices to stay away from family, Murphy said they have the mindset that one decision now could pay off for next year. "Residents will say here, it's one Thanksgiving," she said. "It's one fall festival. It's one Christmas. I wish the country felt more like that. Residents make choices for the safety of our family here because we're our own little pod here. They're making the choices and then we see on the news folks who aren't making such good choices. We are a constant reminder that we are in this with them." Contact Laina Yost at (440) 329-7121 or lyost@chroniclet.com.