'Get to tomorrow:' Olympic gold medalist Tianna Bartoletta discusses mental health, suicide prevention

ELYRIA — For Olympic gold medalist Tianna Bartoletta, there is power in pausing. The track and field star and Elyria native spoke at the Be The Light showcase Saturday evening, an annual event highlighting mental health needs and suicide prevention at Second Baptist Church, 427 Chapman Lane. "I want to stand here for a second to show you what depression looks like, because when we hear 'I'm depressed' the image that we conjure up in our brains typically doesn't look like me," Bartoletta said. "Typically doesn't have nine state titles — tied with Jesse Owens — or three Olympic gold medals, or three World Championship titles. And yet, I was diagnosed with chronic depression in 2013." That depression was something she'd struggled with for years before the diagnosis, she said. But she noted she and those listening are not what they are experiencing. Therapy is something her family didn't talk about, she said, and her first exposure was to sports psychology in college. She didn't know she could pay someone to listen to her problems and render an objective opinion. "The idea that this Olympian, this gold medalist had to be strong and that didn't make sense that I was depressed because I had so much to be grateful for, I couldn't cope," she said. "Because when I was trying to talk to people about it I was often met with 'what do you have to be depressed about? You've got gold medals.' " That idea was overwhelming, she said, while living in Tampa in an abusive marriage, isolated and alone; the façade of the strong, award winning athlete was killing her. The thought that there was no purpose for her pain brought her to almost hanging herself in her garage, she said. If it wasn't for a phone call that had sent her on a full day's worth of errands, she may have gone through with it. "And I remember getting to the end of the day like 'dang, I done ran out of time to hang myself,'" she said. "And it is funny, because it's ridiculous but that's what happened. I looked at that belt, I looked at the gym and I said 'dang.' but you know what that taught me? That taught me if all I do was just wait a little bit longer, I could live." That pause saved her life, and it has since saved others she's mentored. She noted everyone is here for a purpose, and "who are you not to fulfil it?" "Get to tomorrow," she said. "And I'm not even promising you guys it will be better tomorrow, but I do know it will be different. And different is all we really need when we're in that situation. Because pain is inevitable. Although we all have bought into this idea of white picket fences and secure income and perfect family, pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional, and so is defeat." Bartoletta's speech was accompanied by prerecorded poetry performed by Chris Webb, and original gospel songs sung by Aireon Fox. NAMI outreach coordinator Betsy Amador-Ramos provided mental health resources. The evening's event was organized by local mental health advocate Keandra Booker. To watch the full event, visit Booker's Facebook page. Contact Carissa Woytach at (440) 329-7245 or cwoytach@chroniclet.com.